


my head’s underwater, but i’m breathing fine

by BuddysImpala



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff, Cute, Drabble Collection, Drabbles, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Ratings and Warnings vary by chapter, Various Ratings, barlyle - Freeform, bisexual circus dads, dark angst, one shots, writing prompts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:48:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 43
Words: 5,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24342313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuddysImpala/pseuds/BuddysImpala
Summary: “For me, when I picture the person I want to end up with, I don’t think about what their career is, or what they look like. I picture the feeling I get when I’m with them.”A collection of Barlyle prompts.Each prompt is unrelated unless otherwise marked.Ratings vary by chapter!
Relationships: P. T. Barnum/Phillip Carlyle
Comments: 21
Kudos: 63





	1. swan

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello! 
> 
> I am currently working on a very big Barlyle project. A few people know what it’s about, but others don’t. I do not have an exact timeline for it, but it is probably going to take me a long time to write because I want to get everything as accurate as possible, which means it will be my main focus for awhile. However, I didn’t want inactivity to seem like I’ve abandoned this ship, so I’ve decided to create this new collection of Barlyle prompts! The title is taken from the song All of Me by John Legend.
> 
> This collection will probably, mostly, be of bite-sized drabbles that do not connect to one another. However, if there end up being some that are connected in plot, I will mark them! Each chapter will be rated and marked differently for content warnings.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> ——
> 
> swan  
> rated: T  
> warnings: none

The warm summer sun bounces off the water and reflects, blue and bluer, in Phillip’s eyes.

Phineas watches, mesmerized, as Phillip, bare as the day he was born, takes one deep breath and dives gracefully, like a swan, into the lake.

Phineas watches, enchanted, as Phillip bursts up for air. He laughs, water dripping from the ends of his soaked hair, and calls out to Phineas.

“Coming?”

They are alone. Nobody around for miles. Phineas knows that he is the one person Phillip can be himself around, and yet he has never seen the main so... carefree.

Phillip stares at him, blue eyes sparkling, and waits.

A grin spreads across Phineas’s mouth, and he follows his swan into the water.


	2. red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: red  
> rating: T  
> warnings: blood

Blood stains his fingers red. Red that isn’t magical, red that doesn’t strike awe in the audience around him, red that isn’t mesmerizing.

Red that means death.

He sobs, tries to stop the bleeding from the wound. Phillip’s eyes are closed, blood caking his lashes, his cheeks.

The fire roars.

“Please, Phillip,” he begs. His hands are sticky. His vision blurs, he fears he may faint.

Phillip opens his eyes.


	3. companion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> companion  
> rated: G  
> warnings: none

Air is forced from his lungs. He gasps.

The big dog seems to grin at him. He can hardly see around the wolfhound. She whines, licks his face. He splutters.

From somewhere nearby, Phineas laughs.

“Think she wants your attention, darling,” he teases.

Ellie whines again, paws at him.

Phillip smiles. Strokes her fur.

She nestles her head in his lap and naps.


	4. someday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> someday   
> rated: G  
> warnings: none

The rings symbolized future.

They symbolized someday.

Someday, they would be able to wed.

Someday, they would be able to love in public.

Someday, they would be able to stop hiding.

And the ring that sparkled on his finger, glimmering as brightly as the man who gave it to him, symbolized every single someday until then.


	5. dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: dream  
> rating: G  
> warnings: referenced child abuse

When he was a child, his father struck him in his slumber as well as when he was awake.

Now, he falls asleep and the man who loves him meets him in his dreams and keeps him safe in his arms.


	6. unravel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: unravel  
> rating: M  
> warnings: sex

Phillip arches his back as his voice rises into a high moan.

Phineas rolls his hips, gasps, meets Phillip’s mouth in a heated, sloppy kiss.

He swallows Phillip’s cries as he comes undone.


	7. count

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: count  
> rating: T  
> warnings: no sex, but definite build-up

One.

Phineas smiles, lifts his chin. Fingers stroke like silk down his cheeks, jawline. Feather-soft as they frame his face. Lips press against his, he sighs.

Two.

Hands drift up into Phineas’s hair. Urgency rises, he parts his lips. Tightens his fingers in Phineas’s hair, the noise he makes drowned out by a louder groan.

Three.

His feet leave the floor, he curls his legs around Phineas’s waist. His back is pressed into the wall, he moans. Whimpers, sucks at Phineas’s bottom lip. Phineas groans again, breaks the kiss to nip his neck.

Phineas rolls his hips and he cries out, begs for it, legs tightening and driving Phineas closer, closer still.

Phineas delivers.


	8. catastrophe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: catastrophe (I will... see myself out for the pun)  
> rating: G  
> warnings: none (bad puns)

Phineas stops dead in his tracks, frozen at the front door.

Phillip smiles up at him sheepishly.

B.T. slinks around his ankles. Freyr lies curled asleep in his arms.

Behind him are five or six other cats.

Phineas’s lips part, but, for once in his life, nothing comes out. Ellie peers from behind him and whines, low in her throat, at the presence of felines.

“So— Bennett’s cats may have followed me home.”


	9. rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: rose   
> rated: T  
> warnings: death

Phineas visited Phillip every day he was in the hospital.

Afterwards, Phineas still visited Phillip every day, laying a single red rose on his grave.


	10. thunder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: thunder  
> rating: G  
> warning: none

Rain and wind rattle the windows. Phillip shivers, and Phineas pulls the blanket tighter over them both.

“You should have told me sooner you were scared,” Phineas mumbles. 

Phillip blushes as he sips at the tea Phineas made him. As soon as he sets his cup on the nightstand, Phineas draws him closer, placing a kiss to his brow.

Lightning strikes outside the window and thunder rumbles again not five seconds later. Phillip flinches, lays his head to Phineas’s chest.

“I’ve got you,” Phineas promises. He rubs soothing circles into Phillip’s skin.

Phillip closes his eyes, focusing on breathing and Phineas’s touch. He feels a soft kiss in his hair, and drifts far away to a place without any thunder — just Phineas’s touch, his scent, his warmth.

When the thunder rattles next, Phineas holds him tight and Phillip is far away.


	11. down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: down  
> rating: T  
> warnings: ???

down.

down.

down.

he hits the ground.

screams.

bones on fire. he manages to roll over. looks up.

the world goes dark.


	12. not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: not  
> rating: T  
> warnings: ???

he’s not.

not okay.

not happy.

not sure.

not able.

he is.

is scared.

is alone.

is worthless.

is miserable.

is hiding.

hiding it all inside.

hiding it all behind laughs and smiles and i love yous.

he hears the words but he’s not sure,

if he believes them.


	13. breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: breathe  
> rating: T  
> warnings: implied panic attack

In the roar of his mind attacking itself, Phillip suddenly feels strong, sturdy hands on his arms, and then his face.

A smooth, rumbling voice speaks to him gently, telling him to breathe.

And he does.


	14. comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: comfort   
> rating: G  
> warnings: none

He lies against Phineas’s chest, on the cusp of sleep.

Strong arms pull a blanket over the two of them. He sighs and shifts closer.

Warmth, comfort, safety.

He drifts with the feeling of a loving hand in his hair.


	15. sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: sleep  
> rating: G  
> warnings: none

Phineas startles in the middle of the night. He has always been a restless sleeper.

Phillip stirs, eyes open, and looks up at Phineas drowsily. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Phineas mumbles, smoothing back Phillip’s rumpled hair. “Go back to sleep.”

He turns, as if to get out of bed, when Phillip wraps his fingers around Phineas’s wrist.  
“Not without you.”

Phineas’s heart melts, watching Phillip’s eyes droop, struggling to stay open. But, Phillip’s hold on his wrist never lessens.

“All right,” Phineas whispers, settling back down. He pulls Phillip into his chest and Phillip sighs, eyes closing.

“I’m here.”


	16. braid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: braid  
> rating: G  
> warnings: none

Phineas would do anything for his girls.

So when they beg to braid his hair, he can’t say no.

He huffs at Phillip’s laughter, but can’t help cracking a smile when the girls ask Phillip to join in, and he does.

Phillip’s fingers braid his hair with surprising skill, and, when the girls have momentarily paused their stylings to find more accessories, Phineas mumbles, “A word of this to anyone, and you’re dead, Carlyle.”

The mirth in what is possibly the least-threatening threat to have ever been made makes Phillip chuckle.

He beams. “I think I’ll take that chance.”


	17. stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: stay  
> rating: M  
> warnings: sex, post-sex

Phineas brings Phillip to climax with a gasp.

Phillip’s whines, his cries for Phineas, give away to soft moans. He clings to Phineas, murmuring nonsense, as Phineas finds his own completion. A groan in Phillip’s ear, low, husky, and Phineas sags.

Phillip holds him tight.

Phineas shifts, but Phillip’s murmured, “No, please,” makes him chuckle, and he stays as he is. Phillip’s lax fingers thread through his hair.

Phineas presses soft, fluttering kisses to Phillip’s neck, and Phillip sighs.

“I love you,” Phineas mumbles.

Phillip’s fingers fall from his hair, frame his face.

“And I, you,” he whispers back.

Phineas smiles and rests against Phillip’s chest.

They’re a mess. They should clean up, readjust, get some proper rest. But—

Phineas hums softly, pressing his lips once more to Phillip’s flushed skin.

Perhaps he’ll stay here just a little while longer.


	18. love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: love  
> rating: G  
> warnings: none

He never knew three little words could affect him in such a way.

They’re laid together so close that Phillip can feel the thrum of Phineas’s heart through his shirt. Phineas’s lips are in his hair when...

“I love you,” Phineas breathes out.

Every single particle in Phillip freezes. After a moment, slowly, he raises his eyes. Phineas is looking at him, eyes soft, gazing upon him as if he is one of the seven wonders of the world.

“Do you mean that?” Phillip asks.

Phillip believes himself to be unlovable. He is not worthy of love. Has done nothing to earn it. He—

“Of course I do.”

Phillip chokes up. Hides his face in the safety of Phineas’s shirt. Phineas’s hand is a comforting presence against his back.

Phillip can’t say anything else.

But, he doesn’t have to.


	19. cleanse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: cleanse   
> rating: G/maybe T?  
> warnings: non-sexual nudity

Fingers massage his scalp, and he sighs. Water sloshes around them as he leans back against Phineas’s naked chest and closes his eyes, making soft sounds of contentment.

Phineas chuckles low in his ear. Hands flutter from his hair to his shoulders and massage gently. Phillip groans, head lolling onto Phineas’s shoulder. He lazily turns and presses lips to Phineas’s neck.

Phineas’s responding sigh is wonderful.

As Phineas dusts kisses to Phillip’s warm, soft skin, Phillip thinks they could stay like this forever. Threading his fingers through Phineas’s, he squeezes his hand. Phineas smiles, brings Phillip’s wrist to his lips.

Phillip doesn’t notice as the water begins to cool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluffy domestic bath-times > sexy bath-times and that is a hill I am willing to die on


	20. reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: reason  
> rating: T  
> warnings: none

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The way I got excited over two (2) comments on the same chapter 😂😭
> 
> I have work in 10 minutes, but here ya go 👀

The alcohol warms his belly, loosens his limbs, and he smiles, lax and happy.

The feeling is familiar, but he feels no need to drink himself into a stupor. Those days, he hopes, are finally behind him — and the reason why is seated right next to him.

Phineas chuckles as Phillip leans into him, pressing his face into Phineas’s shoulder. “Feeling good, darling?”

“Mhmm,” comes the muffled reply.

Phineas chuckles again, but his eyes are soft as he lifts Phillip’s face to peer into bright eyes. “Done for the night?” he suggests.

Phillip nods without protest. Before, he very well may have put up a fight.

Phineas smiles. After a quick glance around, making sure they are alone — the bartender has stepped out for a quick smoke — he presses his lips to Phillip’s, quick and sweet.

“I love you,” he mumbles against alcohol-laced lips.

Phillip smiles.

Phineas pays, leaving the money at the bar, and Phillip follows his reason out the door.


	21. hypnotic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: hypnotic  
> rating: T  
> warnings: none

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling ✌🏻 22 ✌🏻
> 
> It’s my birthday today so here’s a little birthday gift from me to you. 😌

Watching Phineas in the center of the ring is hypnotizing.

He strides as he sings, smiling at a small girl in the audience. Her giggle is lost in the roar of the crowd, but Phineas catches it. He beams.

Red.

Gold.

Phillip yearns to touch him.

The audience loves him. They beg for more.

Phineas gives it to them.

*

Later, when the circus tent is empty, the audience gone home, and animals back in their stalls, Phillip finds Phineas cleaning up, still dressed in the ringmaster attire. The air is heavy with the scent of animals, but Phillip can detect traces of sweat and peanuts underneath it all.

It shouldn’t be as intoxicating as it is.

He goes to Phineas like a man under a spell. Phineas doesn’t notice him at first, but smirks when he does. He stops what he’s doing, straightens, opens his arms without having to ask.

Earlier, it was the audience who begged for more.

Now, it is Phillip’s turn to beg.


	22. morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: morning  
> rating: M  
> warnings: Vampire AU. No actual sex scenes, but it’s rated M because... well, I guess you’ll see, lmao.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the idea for this little drabble originally came from SilverLynxx! I couldn’t stop thinking about it so she’s letting me write it down. 😂

He awakes with a jolt.

Head still foggy with sleep, Phillip struggles to figure out what woke him. He is lying on his stomach, facedown in a pillow, and—

Oh.

The press and suction of Phineas’s lips makes him groan. His face burns.

“Phineas,” he whines.

There’s a pause. Phillip looks behind him just in time to see Phineas lift his head, sly grin on stained ruby lips.

“Good morning,” he purrs.

“You have to eat, I know,” Phillip says, “But why there?”

“Mmm. You just taste so good.”

Phillip groans. Loudly. 

Phineas laughs.

Hands brush over Phillip’s ass, thumbs running lightly over two tiny bite marks. Phillip’s groan turns abruptly into a whine as lips follow fingers, brushing lightly over the skin.

“You’re not done?” Phillip’s voice cracks, and he prays Phineas doesn’t notice.

But, of course he does.

“I’m full, if that’s what you mean.” He kneads Phillip’s ass in his hands. Phillip hides his face in the pillow to try to suppress his whimper.

“But...?” 

Phineas smiles. Phillip can’t see it, but he can feel it. Then, he presses one tiny kiss to Phillip’s cheek.

“But,” Phineas chuckles. His next kiss is longer, lingering. Phillip sucks in a breath, “I think I can make room for a little dessert.”


	23. star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: star
> 
> rating: G
> 
> warnings: None

Phineas loves stargazing with Phillip.

In his backyard, nothing — nobody — can touch them. He can hold Phillip as close as he likes, nuzzling his hair, murmuring in his ear. Phillip’s eyes are bright, even against the sparkling night sky, as he searches for constellations in wonderment.

Phineas can’t keep the constellations straight, never properly learned them. But, he keeps track for Phillip, who looks upon the night sky with the same wonderment of a child seeing snow for the first time.

Sometimes, when the temperature is comfortable, the sky clear with not a cloud to cover the twinkling stars, they stay out so late that Phillip eventually falls asleep on Phineas. His head nuzzled on Phineas’s shoulder, his hand resting against Phineas’s chest.

Phineas wouldn’t move for the world.

He, too, falls asleep with his face to the stars, holding Phillip as close as they can possibly be.


	24. heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: heat  
> rating: On the cusp between T and M  
> warnings: Minor sexual themes

Back pressed to wall.

Fingers gripping the curls at the naps of the ringmaster’s neck.

Lips parting, gasping, as a hot mouth meets skin.

Hips rolling, grinding, slowly driving him out of his mind.

He begs the man to take him in a voice he hardly recognizes as his own.


	25. name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: name   
> rating: T  
> warnings: amnesia, memory loss

The first time Phillip says his name, Phineas cries.

“...Phineas?”

Blue eyes wide, unsure.   


But Phineas doesn’t care. He wraps Phillip in his embrace, Phillip, who does not quite remember their affection but responds well to what he thinks is new. Phillip, who has fought with memory loss in the weeks since the fire.

Phillip doesn’t understand Phineas’s tears, but takes hold of Phineas’s hand when he burrows his face in Phillip’s hair and lets the tears fall.


	26. music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: music   
> rating: M  
> warnings: oral sex

The sounds that spill from Phineas’s lips as Phillip kneels before him, eyes closed, reverberate through Phillip’sentire body.

He would stay here forever if he could.


	27. linger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: linger   
> rating: T  
> warnings: none, I think? Kissing. Maybe the briefest hinting of arousal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This prompt, based off of the fire & ice AU, is for @we_are_inevitable. Happy birthday, babs!

Phillip audibly gasps when they kiss for the first time.

Phineas’s lips are hot. Searing. So much so they make Phillip’s own chilled mouth burn.

But... it’s addicting. Phillip wants more of the heat and his fingers — icy, though he swears his body temperature is going up — grip at Phineas’s coat. Phineas groans and holds him closer, his hand a source of fire on Phillip’s back.

Phillip all but mewls as their temperatures melt together, creating comfort, creating warmth.

Even when the kiss breaks, that warmth lingers and he stays close, pressing his forehead to Phineas’s shoulder. Phineas’s strong embrace never slackens.

For the first time in his life, Phillip is warm from the top of his head to the tips of his toes.

And, he wants more.


	28. flutter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: flutter   
> rating: M  
> warnings: Arousal, mention of male anatomy towards the end, beginnings of sexual activity

Phineas loves when he can make Phillip’s breath hitch. He loves when Phillip’s heart stutters a beat, he loves the way Phillip’s eyes flutter shut between quiet, breathy gasps.

Phillip’s lashes flutter now as he moans, lolling his head towards Phineas. Phineas hums in approval, kissing, licking, nipping the expanse of his neck.

When Phineas takes a hold of him, he gasps. Those eyes blow wide open and lock with Phineas’s.

There’s no fluttering now, only writhing, only pleading, as Phineas takes him to the brink.


	29. rumble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: rumble   
> rating: G  
> warnings: None

Phineas’s nose twitches and he chuckles upon feeling the first splatter of raindrops. He looks up, seeing, for the first time, that the glow of the moon has been concealed by dark, thick rainclouds.

“Phillip,” he mutters, looking down at the man who’s asleep, curled in his arms. He hates to wake him, but... “Phillip, darling, you need to get up.”

Phillip mutters something, swiping at his face, not unlike a cat, at the blades of grass that tickle his skin. Phineas is about to say something, rouse him again, when his pretty eyes flutter open and flick up to Phineas’s face.

“We fell asleep,” Phineas mumbles, “I’m not sure what time it is. We should go inside.”

“Mmm... fine right here,” Phillip mutters.

The roll of thunder quickly changes his mind, though, and his eyes flash open. He looks up at the sky, then lifts a hand to his hair.

“It’s raining?”

“Indeed it is,” Phineas chuckles, “Quite steadily, in fact. So, unless you want to get drenched, perhaps struck by lightning—“

“All right, all right, I’m up.” Phillip stumbles to his feet. Phineas laughs as he follows suit, lazily draping an arm around Phillip’s shoulders.

“Surely you’d be much more comfortable in bed, huh, rich boy?” he teases.

“I was quite comfortable where I was, thank you,” Phillip retorts, nudging Phineas with his shoulder. “You’re warmer than any amount of blankets I could ask for.”

Phineas laughs, pressing a kiss to Phillip’s temple as they retreat into the house, leaving the rolling thunder behind.


	30. touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: touch  
> rating: G  
> warnings: none

Dancing alongside the circus troupe means they have to dance close together. Sometimes, fingertips brush against things they shouldn’t. It’s always accidental, it’s happened to everyone. Everybody in the troupe is understanding about it.

Still, that doesn’t stop the mortified flame that colors Phillip’s face when, during a live performance, he makes one movement a little too close... and ends up brushing a hand to the ringmaster’s rear.

He jerks away as quickly as he can, praying that he hasn’t messed up the dance too much. He prays, too, that the audience doesn’t take notice.

As P.T. turns with the dance, he makes eye contact with Phillip out of his peripheral vision. Phillip’s eyes widen and he starts to duck his head.

But, the ringmaster’s brilliant grin stops him.

He watches, hypnotized, as P.T. offers him a slow, sly wink.

And, suddenly, Phillip is warm all over — but not with mortification.


	31. hold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: hold   
> rating: G  
> warnings: None

Phillip still sometimes startles awake with night terrors.

But, as he comes to, breathing hard and trembling, he becomes aware of the comforting hold around his waist. The sheer strength of the arm that holds them together.

Phineas would do anything to protect his Phillip.

And it is with this thought in mind that Phillip settles back to sleep.


	32. valentine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: valentine   
> rating: T  
> warnings: nothing too graphic, but is post-shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s not quite 11 pm here so technically Valentine’s Day isn’t over yet \o/

The extravagance of Phineas’s decorating seems much less intimidating now, in the aftermath. Rose petals settle on the floor as a silent, tranquil calm settles over the room.

Phillip’s eyes flutter shut as he holds Phineas close, skin to skin. Phineas himself is lax, a warm sleepiness settling in his limbs, but that doesn’t stop the soft, lazy kisses he lingers over Phillip’s face, neck, shoulders. Phillip sighs, a soft, “I love you,” trailing from his lips. 

Phineas hums, placing one more soft, sweet kiss to Phillip’s forehead. Phillip smiles as he gently lolls off into the realm of dreams.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, dear Phillip.”


	33. nerves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: nerves  
> rating: G  
> warnings: none

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This little drabble is dedicated to braille_upon_my_skin, as it was inspired by a conversation we had about what levels of “PDA” Phineas and Phillip (more notably Phillip) would be comfortable with around the circus. \o/

Their relationship was still a relatively new thing.

Not so new that they were hiding it from the rest of the troupe — Phineas, in particular, was about as subtle as a lightning storm — but new enough that the thought of outright kissing Phineas in front of Lettie or W.D. or Constantine still made Phillip’s fingers tremble with anxiety.

Phineas notices, of course. He’ll take a hold of Phillip’s trembling hand, offer the gentlest squeeze, and won’t say a word. Phillip caught Anne’s eye once, doing this, and was immediately plagued with guilt — he cannot help what he feels for the ringmaster, but it reminds him all too well of that night in the theatre, when he allowed fear to take over, allowed himself to drop her hand.

Phineas does not let go.

And Anne, bless her, gives him the sweetest smile. Silently lets him know that it’s all right. She still loves him, and he her — it’s just not the romantic love that they’d once thought it to be.

Nerves still overtake Phillip and, more often than not, it is Phineas initiating the littlest things around the circus. The holding of hands, the brushing of lips, quick and sweet, never lingering. Sometimes he’ll pull Phillip into a secluded corner and simply hold him, burying his nose in Phillip’s hair, inhaling his sweet cologne.

Sometimes the rustling of an oddity nearby will make Phillip jump back, eyes wide in alarm.

But, his jumpiness lessens with time.

And he simply allows himself to be held.


	34. kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: kiss  
> rating: G  
> warnings: none

He cradles Phineas’s face in his hands, thumbs gently tracing the laugh lines at the corners of his eyes. Phineas smiles at him, closes his eyes. Phillip feels the flutter of eyelashes against his fingertips.

Tilting his head, lips sweetly parting, Phillip reaches up and presses their mouths together. 

The sigh that leaves Phineas’s lips is heavenly. 


	35. fingertips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: fingertips  
> rating: T  
> warnings: referenced child abuse

Years of hard work callous these hands. Years of work on the railroad, of braving the harsh elements when he didn’t have a roof over his head.

Yet, his hands are gentle as he tilts Phillip’s face up to kiss him. Phillip, in turn, kisses each one of Phineas’s long, skilled fingers. He kisses a callous on his palm, a scar on the knuckle. He leans into Phineas’s touch with a sigh as Phineas caresses his hand along Phillip’s cheek.

Phillip’s hands, in contrast, are almost baby-soft. Pampered by years of privilege,never needing to lift a finger. The barest hints of callous lie at his fingertips, having handwritten numerous plays and poems. Otherwise, they are smooth.

But, they are not unblemished.

A single, thin scar runs along the back of Phillip’s right hand. He is reluctant to talk about it until Phineas gently coaxes it out of him, after several sweet kisses and murmured, “I love you’s.”

The scar, he reveals, is byproduct of his father. Unhappy with the fact that Phillip, at fifteen, had expressed interest in playwriting, Theodore had cut into his skin, hoping to teach him and his dominant hand “a lesson.” He’d been lucky that the injury healed without any complications damaging the function in that hand.

Phillip, to that point, had never seen Phineas look quite so murderous. It takes several murmured pleas to calm him down, and Phillip makes it a point to hold Phineas close. He’s half-afraid Phineas might storm out of the house and confront Theodore himself.

“That vile, lowlife—“

“Phineas, please,” Phillip whispers. He brings Phineas’s own hands up to his lips again, kisses each knuckle. Slowly, the storm disperses in Phineas’s eyes. Phillip leans up, gently brushing his lips to Phineas’s. Closing his eyes, tears wetten his lashes.

Phineas presses a hand to Phillip’s chest, gently pushing him back against the pillows. The kiss breaks and Phillip whines, opening his eyes again. They are wet with tears.

Phineas’s calloused fingers are light as a feather as he wipes Phillip’s tears. Straddling him, Phineas slowly begins to unbutton Phillip’s shirt. He leans down, kisses a scar at Phillip’s collarbone.

And, it is with those calloused fingertips, that Phineas shows Phillip how much he is loved as much he tells him.


	36. mend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: mend   
> rating: M  
> warnings: some semi-graphic shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am writing this on my phone instead of my tablet, but I just had to get this down. Enjoy. \o/

Phineas was worn thin that day, and everybody could tell. Most days, the man didn’t know the definition of the word ‘temper.’ But tensions were high, there were more protestors than usual on the grounds, and one Mr. Bennett had written a particularly scathing review of Phineas’s “flat performance.” 

Even Phineas had his limits and, by afternoon that day, the troupe could tell. He’d even snapped at Lettie. 

Thankfully, the woman had the heart of a saint and brushed it off. Everyone has bad days, she said. 

But, that didn’t stop Phillip from being over-attentive.

That night, it was Phillip with the particularly gentle touch, the sweet kisses that fell over Phineas’s face like rain. 

And, Phillip relished in Phineas’s relaxing muscles, his soft sighs and murmurs of thanks, of love. Phillip rides Phineas sweet and slow and, as they meet their peaks, leans forward to kiss Phineas’s lips and nip his jaw. 

Phineas’s hands slide over Phillip’s thighs, squeeze, massage. Between gasping breaths, he murmurs Phillip’s name like a prayer, telling him how beautiful he was, how perfect. 

Phillip stays in Phineas’s lap even after they’ve both finished. Phineas holde him close and smiles up into darkened blue eyes. 

“I love you,” he rumbles, voice thick.

Phillip knows he can’t solve everything. Tomorrow will be a new day, a new battle. 

But, for now, he lies content in Phineas’s arms.

And, for now, he is enough.


	37. fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: fever  
> rating: G  
> warnings: none

Another round of shivers wracks Phineas’s body. He sneezes, then groans.

Phillip bites his lip as he presses a hot rag to Phineas’s forehead. He nearly clicks his tongue, as Lettie would do, but holds back. He knows Phineas hates to be fussed over.

Phineas sneezes again, sniffles. Reaching over, Phillip grabs another tissue from their rapidly diminishing supply and offers it. Phineas hesitates, then takes it, eyeing Phillip all the while.

“You don’t have to take care of me,” Phineas whispers. His voice is raspy. He tries to clear his throat, but that does nothing to clear his voice, only scratches his throat further. 

“Too bad. I’m not leaving you.”

Despite his words, caring for Phineas’s sickness fills Phillip with an anxiety he cannot help. He doesn’t know how to care for himself in illness, let alone another person. 

Phineas, apparently, knows what he’s thinking.

“You’re doing fine,” Phineas whispers. He smiles and takes hold of Phillip’s hand, pressing a kiss to his wrist. 

“You’re going to get me sick, too,” Phillip scolds. But, he doesn’t pull his hand away. 

Still smiling, Phineas presses Phillip’s hand to his cheek. 

He shivers again, and Phillip frowns. The man is burning up, and yet— 

Struck with an idea, Phillip gently peels the blankets from Phineas’s overheated body. Phineas shivers again, frowns, and opens his mouth to ask what Phillip’s doing. 

“Shhh,” Phillip insists. 

He lays down, settling next to Phineas, and holds him close. Phineas’s feet are bare and press against Phillip’s own. Phillip gasps.

“Your toes are freezing,” he scolds.

“What are you doing? You’ll get sick,” Phineas whispers.

Phillip chuckles as he brushes a kiss to Phineas’s fevered forehand.

“I’ll probably get sick anyway,” he murmurs, lacing their fingers together. “This way, hopefully, you’ll stay warm without overheating.”

Phineas opens his mouth, ready to protest, when Phillip brushes his free hand along Phineas’s cheek. Sighing,Phineas leans into the touch and closes his eyes. 

If Phillip wanted to play nurse, who was he to complain?


	38. control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: control   
> rating: M  
> warnings: s i n

Phineas is the one who kneels at Phillip’s feet, but they both know that it is he who has all the control.

Phillip moans, writhes, whimpers under the man’s touch. Phineas is absolutely unashamed, pleased hum building in his throat. His fingernails dig into Phillip’s thighs, kneading them, leaving tiny, damning imprints in the otherwise unmarked flesh.

Phillip’s head is back, tears brimming in his eyes. Phineas works slow, hot, wet, absolutely torturous. Every particle of Phillip’s skin feels as of it may burst into flame. 

A smirk plays at Phineas’s lip as he slowly pulls off, and Phillip lets out a cry. Phineas rises, slowly, and meets Phillip’s mouth with his own.

Phillip groans. He tastes the sex — _his_ sex — on Phineas’s tongue. 

Phineas’s fist closes, like a vice, around the heat between Phillip’s legs. 

He comes with a sob that is muted by the ringmaster’s kiss. 


	39. fort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: fort  
> rating: G  
> warnings: none

Paperwork was usually reserved for the circus; however, they were still dealing with damages caused by the fire. Phillip’s head is down as he strides down the hall of Phineas’s estate, opening the door to their shared bedroom without ever sparing a glance into the space. 

“Phineas, I have a que—“

Phillip’s voice catches in his throat as he looks up.

Their bedroom has been transformed. Blankets hang off the bed frame, coupling with stacks of pillows to create a fort atop the mattress. At the sound of his name, Phineas pokes his head out from the shield of blankets, smile spreading on his face.

“You called?”

Eyes scanning the blanket fort, the corner of Phillip’s lip twitches in amusement. “The girls left three days ago.”

“Your point?”

“My point...” Phillip trails off. What was his point, exactly? “There’s no need for this silly fort.”

“There’s _always_ a need for a blanket fort, dear Phillip.” Phineas grins at him, and winks.

Phillip’s cheeks tinge pink. “Well, I—“

“Set those forms down,” Phineas nods at the stack of papers in Phillip’s hands, “They can wait.”

“Phin—“

“Come on, Phil. It’ll be so much cozier in here with you.”

With that, Phineas disappears.

Phillip shakes his head. But, he sets the stack of papers on the dresser and carefully crawls onto the bed and into the blanket fort with Phineas.

“Well, hello,” Phineas hums.

Lighting is dimmed by the blankets. Phillip eases himself against some pillows, as not to disturb Phineas’s handiwork. 

“It is... rather cozy,” Phillip admits, smiling. He felt truly secluded, alone with Phineas, away from the rest of the world. 

Phineas beams and leans over Phillip, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. 

They don’t leave their fort for the rest of the night. 


	40. business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: business  
> rating: T  
> warning: suggestiveness and build-up into certain... shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Kev, thank you for helping me find the photo that inspired this drabble \o/

Paperwork that day. No performances, just business.

They were sat in their shared office. Barnum, having forgone his typical ringmaster attire, was dressed in business casual. Black slacks. A white dress shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and a tie. Every once in awhile he ran his fingers through his hair, gently musing it. 

Phillip kept glancing up to sneak a peek at him. He thought he was being discreet, barely lifting his head, looking at Barnum from the corner of his eye. Gaze lingering just a little too long on Barnum’s exposed arms, fine, dark hair dusting over taut muscles. 

“Like what you see?” Barnum chuckles.

Phillip jumps. Bangs his knee on his desk, groaning as his knee throbs.

Looks at Barnum in poorly-disguised horror.

Barnum smirks. Slowly rises and crosses their office. Phillip watches, can’t peel his eyes away, as Barnum rests his hands on Phillip’s desk. He leans forward, shifting his weight to his arms. His smug eyes, all too knowing, dance with mirth.

“I...” Phillip gulps. “I was thinking of taking a break.”

“Mmm. Good idea.”

Barnum straightens. 

When Barnum pulls him up, Phillip gasps. Then Barnum’s mouth is on him, Barnum’s hands clutching his shirt, his hair. He is backed into a corner, his back hitting the wall.

Phillip groans into Barnum’s mouth. His own hands reach up, tangling in Barnum’s hair, messing it further. 

An incessant roll of Barnum’s hips pulls a moan from Phillip’s mouth. 

The paperwork is shoved from Phillip’s desk and flutters, forgotten, to the floor. 

Phillip is bent over his own desk in its place. 


	41. catnap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: catnap  
> rating: G  
> warnings: none

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For braille_upon_ny_skin, who expressed desire for cuddly Barlyle after Hugh posted a new photo of himself with his own doggos \o/

Phillip is disturbed from slumber by a sloppy, wet tongue licking straight up the middle of his face.

“Ughhhh,” he groans, wiping his face with his arm. “Ellie!”

He opens his eyes and states directly into the slobbery face of an Irish Wolfhound. Her tail wags upon his waking and she whines, flashing her teeth. She is almost grinning.

Just as he’s about to get up, arms tighten around him. He and Phineas are laid out together on the sofa, Phineas’s face against his back.

Phillip shivers as Phineas takes his time pressing light kisses to the back of his neck.

“Where are you going?” he rumbles, voice thick with sleep. 

“Ellie assaulted me,” Phillip explains. “I need to go wash my face.”

Phineas lets out a laugh and releases him. He is about to stand when he spots two more bundles of fur slinking by the door.

“Looks like we have company,” Phineas chuckles again as he sits up, draping an arm casually around Phillip’s shoulders. Forgetting about needing the washroom, Phillip leans into his touch.

B.T. and Freyr stare at the pair, each blinking a pair of feline eyes. Freyr, the younger, more social cat of the two, meows and comes forward once he realizes there is movement. B.T. hangs back, observing in silence. 

Ellie, realizing she has competition, whines. Just as Freyr jumps on the couch, easily making a home for himself on the arm, Ellie jumps up, too.

And knocks the breath right out of Phillip.

His face goes pink as Ellie centers much of her weight into his lap. Phineas laughs at the expression on his face.

“Oh, no! Did she get you?”

“Almost,” Phillip gasps, breathless. 

“Come here, Ellie, girl.” Phineas makes room for her next to him on the couch, and she obediently leaves Phillip’s lap to settle next to Phineas instead. She takes up most of the remaining room on the couch and Phineas sits very close to Phillip, thigh to thigh.

“Are you all right, darling?” He chuckles again and frames Phillip’s face in his hands.

“Fine,” Phillip huffs. Reaching over, he picks up Freyr and pulls him into his lap.

“Mmm, I think I can make it better,” Phineas mumbles. He gently brushes his lips to Phillip, the press of his mouth sweet against Phillip’s own.

“Phineas, the slobber—!”

Pulling back, Phineas chuckles. “What? It’s not like we’ve never dealt with hair in our food or drool on our clothes.”

He kisses Phillip again, cupping Phillip’s face in his hands, just as softly as before.

Phillip sighs, eyes fluttering shut.

A quiet, but distinct “meow” disrupts them and they pull apart, looking down at Big Top, who has decided that he wants up on the couch after all. B.T. jumps up and settles next to Freyr, who doesn’t so much as stir.

“We need a bigger couch,” Phillip mutters.

Phineas laughs, surrounded by each of their animals, and pulls him in for another sweet kiss.


	42. symphony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: symphony   
> rating: M  
> warnings: semi-graphic sin

Phillip groans as Phineas drives into him, pressed up against the wall, legs woven around Phineas’s waist. Crescent-shaped fingernails dig into Phineas’s shoulder and Phillip’s head falls back, thunking the wall.

Phineas’s grip on his hips is tight, possessive, no doubt will leave fingerprints come morning. Desperate pleas fall from Phillip’s lips, _please, Phin, faster, oh God, yes, right there—!_

Tears spill from his eyes as Phineas finds that _spot,_ and his head falls forward, burying his face in Phineas’s shoulder. He smells like sweat and strain and sex.

Phillip moans long and low, and kisses along Phineas’s neck. Phineas moans in response, and his hips jerk.

Phillip’s responding cry is like music to his ears.


	43. lyra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> title: lyra   
> rating: G  
> warnings: none

Anne was a very good teacher.

Phillip had no previous training in acrobatics, but now he twirls on the Lyra as if he owns it. He makes eye contact with Phineas, and he beams.

Phineas is a man transfixed.


End file.
